Even though,

I feel a calm.
The wind isn't blowing as hard today,
But the energy in me is going as hard as if it was a storm inside of me.
Frustrated,
I play the prince and the pauper.
Which way will I turn?
Which face will they yearn?
I need to get out of my element.
Out of my zone.
Out of my circle.
It seems things went haywire,
And everything's been compromised.
My attempts at success,
All failures.
Even though, I keep at my goals.
I never gave up,
Don't think I ever will.
I'm strong and I'm ill.
A deadly combination,
Yet my only fall to temptation
is a relation based on life's trials
Through emulation.
I need a wave of relaxation.
This life of mine's the longest journey,
Yet it doesn't travel as fast or as slow at times like I need it.
I see a future based on dreams.
Any of my dreams would be nice.
I need a sedation.
Even though, I sedate myself regularly.
It's never enough.
I need a real high.
A high no drug,
No emotion,
No activity can provide.
I wanna be high on life.
Life should be the only high.

A Train of Thought

I sit in my seat dreaming of things.
The way smells and sights used to be more than minute flings.
I sat around placing them all.
Any noise or sight would cause them to fall.
I could hear the waves of laughter in my ears,
But there were no children to be found.
No lives reaching out for a pause,
No questions about it, the drowning of sound.
I still sit there dreaming,
Walking through a fog.
A mist that took away the reality I lived in,
Placing me in a world of wild scenes and songs.
I sang to myself, then along with the wild.
They seemed extra quiet today,
Even with mouths wide open to see them screaming,
They were pleasantly mild.
Yet I still begin to dream again,
Walking to another mystery,
I lost myself today,
No place known in history.
No maps for guidance,
No footprints to follow.
I was lost in my mind.
I was lost in the time.
To stop now was cruel,
But the radio came on,
This was the end of that song,
The end of that day was near,
And I had twelve other places to wallow.
Could this be sorrow?
Perhaps the question will be answered tomorrow.