Even though,

I feel a calm.
The wind isn't blowing as hard today,
But the energy in me is going as hard as if it was a storm inside of me.
Frustrated,
I play the prince and the pauper.
Which way will I turn?
Which face will they yearn?
I need to get out of my element.
Out of my zone.
Out of my circle.
It seems things went haywire,
And everything's been compromised.
My attempts at success,
All failures.
Even though, I keep at my goals.
I never gave up,
Don't think I ever will.
I'm strong and I'm ill.
A deadly combination,
Yet my only fall to temptation
is a relation based on life's trials
Through emulation.
I need a wave of relaxation.
This life of mine's the longest journey,
Yet it doesn't travel as fast or as slow at times like I need it.
I see a future based on dreams.
Any of my dreams would be nice.
I need a sedation.
Even though, I sedate myself regularly.
It's never enough.
I need a real high.
A high no drug,
No emotion,
No activity can provide.
I wanna be high on life.
Life should be the only high.

Tomorrow is coming

Today I leave you all with the peace of mind.
Tomorrow is coming,
So today shouldn't have to go less than fine.
Should it go this way,
Tomorrow is coming.
A new day to start,
A new chance to break apart
From the negativity people leave on your shoulders,
The talk behind your only back,
The crud they left under your shoes,
When you stepped out to take your drag.
Tomorrow is coming.
Any issues unresolved will be solved on their own.
Leave the garbage thrown at your face on the floor,
I don't want to keep hearing the blame.
I'm a bad friend,
A bad voice,
A bad try.
I know not what I do,
I thought I was doing by you right.
Those who have left me,
They left for the better.
Only to find out,
The better is what they left behind.
I'm not bigger,
I'm not smaller.
I'm just me.
If you can't handle this,
Or expected more than what you see,
I apologize in advance.
I'm done dealing with the insecurity.
This is me.
I can't wait for tomorrow.
Tomorrow is coming.

Surpassing.

Last month.
Last year.
Yesterday.
All gone before my eyes.
I could never find satisfaction in the old.
Seeing new things, gave me joy.
Joy that could never last long enough.
This month.
This year.
Today.
Right here before my eyes.
I want to find and hold to satisfaction in the new.
Seeing old things, will cause me to remember good memories.
Memories that are no longer around, yet vivid in my mind.
Next month.
Next Year.
Tomorrow.
Not yet seen, but I await with these eyes.
If I have found satisfaction, I will be grateful.
Recollecting everything, even thoughts help the move.
Movement I can only endure as well as participate.
I am ready for everyday,
I just need my own heart to follow.

What If I...

What if I were somebody important,
Making big decisions onto big ideas.
What if I had the will to exceed in life,
Better than how I let myself be treated.
I could solve the world's problems.
I could save every dime.
I could save a race of humans,
Within one blink for each eye.
I could be a master of sciences.
I could be a general of militias.
I could be a saxophone player,
I could be head chef in a kitchen.
But I am none of those things,
I won't even try.
I'm just too picky,
And get bored very fast, every time.
I have no motivation,
I've lost the reason to groove.
Someone should push me,
But it's me who won't move.
I've let myself be satisfied with what I have.
The time I'll waste will be gone.
Tomorrow is a new day,
I can't stop singing yesterday's song.
I'm compelled to speak my mind,
Yet I have shut my mouth.
The last time was an outrage they said.
I didn't want to punish the crowd.
I don't know where to move from this feeling.
I'm sure one day I'll find
The reason to be again.
This I know is truth.
Just when will the time, be time.

The Eagle Eye

They seek me from a distance.
So far, yet so close I could almost listen.
Reading mouths,
They talked about so-called funny things.
How some were not privileged,
And suffering was a game,
The taste of acid wouldn't even sting.
Diamond rings, rings of fire.
They want all that a sultan asks for,
In his slumbers and in his desires.
His empire,
So cautious.
To overthrow a tyrant meant risking it all
The thought made them nauseous.
We want our freedom,
We seek the enemy.
They paced by close.
I could spot them,
There's less than 33.
They want my knowledge,
The power I hold they seek.
My power is not what they think it is,
They have over-exaggerated my peak.
I leaked,
Every possible clue to make them think I went left.
I had to stay right.
My mind was in turmoil,
Running was no option,
Fleeing would only cause me to foil.
Every plan I have,
Every blueprint they need,
I have tattooed into my mind,
I've sown my mouth shut,
What can they possibly get out of me?
Being afraid,
Has finally settled down.
I am here today,
No king,
Do you see a crown?
My mind is vast,
I can hear the sound repeating in my head.
Boom, Bam, Blast.
At last.
They have come to rescue me.
The duo of sorts.
A kingdom for me,
Only if I share it, of course.

Time and Change

I have seen the days go back and forth.
Yesterday became forever ago.
Today will become never more.
I wonder why time flies the way it does.
Yesterday I was doing so much.
Today I'm forced to do more than needed.
That struggle compiles on top of one another after the other.
The times change, and so does the mood.
My heart says to stay steady and to keep my ground.
The clock says to hurry it up, before all that time all lost.
I have paced up my work,
I have shortened my desire.
Tomorrow I think I will break free from those chains.
Let them rot in that old fire.
To reignite my life,
I will do more than I could imagine.
I will prepare myself for the worst,
But expect that sort of thing to not happen.
I won't wait for an opportunity,
But instead I will create one.
In doing so,
I will pass on my deeds to others,
I could use some help,
And maybe others might need some.
I don't need to live by the rules,
But I don't need to break so many.
I feel insecure at times,
But today I am ready.
I am ready.

Regrets.

I stand here and there,
Sit there and where.
Thinking why I feel and think the way I do.
Am I alone on these thoughts?
Could anyone out there understand it?
To me, no one could.
To me, why would they want to?
I live in a world of sin,
To achieve a smile, I did the most outrageous things.
I lowered my standards,
Accepted what I needed no acceptance for.
I truly walked alone in a cult full of look-a-likes.
How unique am I now?
Was this my intention?
One minute inside my head,
The next out the door.
No goodbye, no hello.
Left the highs to walk down to the lows, a cello.
I had changed my persona,
I had changed my skins.
I had changed my worries,
To meaningless grins.
I didn't know who I was anymore,
Though, I had an idea.
I gave up the most important things for
A better version of a time I wanted to be living in.
I stood as a copy,
I sat as a photograph.
I replicated every one and thing around me,
To fit in.
The intention to never being seen again.
I was wrong.
I was shamed.
I was even saddened by the sound of my name.
So I picked myself up,
Found a love in me, through a pen.
Couldn't stand looking like those around me,
I shed the skin once and then once more again.
I closed my eyes,
Dreamed of being younger.
No worries anymore.
Nothing on my mind but lunch.
The smell of the summer afternoon,
The taste after the loudest crunch.
The ball passing left and right,
The swish of a net.
Now thinking back,
How could I have thought those evils.
One more thing on my list of regret.

Blood And Sweat

The champion in me says "wait".
The fighter in me says "why?".
These exact same roads have been crossed time and time again.
My soul is searching for purpose, but I have lost part of my sight.
In the circle, there are no friends or enemies; just obstacles.
There are no lost loves, nor is there treason.
I am my own army, I am my own reason.
These iron thoughts have turned my fists into hammers,
My mind into stone.
I awoke today feeling empty, yet full of fuel.
The road to gold, is one walked alone.
My life is as rocky as the pavement,
My emotions run wild like the racing stallions.
No heart has earned more valor,
No eyes have seen this much failure.
My idea of sanity is pain.
Without pain, I am unreal.
One in the same,
A fiend to this game.

Chains and Anchors

The time was setting into my skull.
The date was embedded into my brain.
These days were a lot harder than I had imagined them to be,
And I have weighed in far more than the wait.
Though I am a face worth painting,
I cannot be a face worth for saving.
The ugly truths behind the eyes of a wolf,
The pains of a hunger so angry I cannot feel anything.
I have always been an impatient client of this world's ugly trended business.
There have been many times where scars became permanent,
While other wounds healed.
Some would call the ways of the flow different.
Perhaps this is emotion in motion,
How do you feel?
Still I remain in place,
Thinking of what next to say.
I am speechless for the world took my breathe away.
They took my passions,
They soiled my pride.
They beat me inside,
And the timing was right.
A citizen of need.
A governor of want.
The plague tried to swipe me,
To me it was just another day in the swamp.

A Train of Thought

I sit in my seat dreaming of things.
The way smells and sights used to be more than minute flings.
I sat around placing them all.
Any noise or sight would cause them to fall.
I could hear the waves of laughter in my ears,
But there were no children to be found.
No lives reaching out for a pause,
No questions about it, the drowning of sound.
I still sit there dreaming,
Walking through a fog.
A mist that took away the reality I lived in,
Placing me in a world of wild scenes and songs.
I sang to myself, then along with the wild.
They seemed extra quiet today,
Even with mouths wide open to see them screaming,
They were pleasantly mild.
Yet I still begin to dream again,
Walking to another mystery,
I lost myself today,
No place known in history.
No maps for guidance,
No footprints to follow.
I was lost in my mind.
I was lost in the time.
To stop now was cruel,
But the radio came on,
This was the end of that song,
The end of that day was near,
And I had twelve other places to wallow.
Could this be sorrow?
Perhaps the question will be answered tomorrow.

Broken Promises, Empty Pockets

These days in the recession as they so call it, have been nothing but a blur to most and most certainly crazy for others.

Banks raising interest on credit cards, charging overdraft fees for every single time your check deposited the day after of 30 minutes after closing.
Your cell provider making things more complicated while giving you the runaround wasting your time, money, and patience.

Where do we go when there are no more walls to lean against? No sidewalks or stoops to sit down on? No breathing room for me, or for you?

The problem in today's world is greed and well...a little more greed.
Our country became greedy, causing us to do the same almost as far as material things, and then bad bets lost credibility to our so called glorious system. We in turn lost our own credibility to keep a good reputation with wealth.

No one is fooled by these thieves. But we sank in and fooled ourselves.
Put things off, just like they wanted us to.
They made a bet with our money, lost it, and we are now paying for it.
Then we made the same bets, lost, and cried about it.

Banks all over have had system errors, causing you to waste your cellphone minutes to stay on the line for half hour. What about the only phone you could possibly have, the prepaid?
Then there's the few of us who knew the system well enough to use a land line, but at one time and one time only had to use the pre paid or cell phone to make the call and wasted 30 - 45 minutes just waiting for an answer to a possible overdraft fee or charge incurred for no reason, or bank error.

No matter how you look at this, we are in for a run.
No marathons here. Call it the treadmill that malfunctioned and wont turn off, and its going too fast for you to jump off and get to the plug.......
Exactly..


Savings are down.
Prices are up.
Morale is low.
Depression is high.

What do we do?

We do what we always do.

Devise a plan. Stick to it for a week. Switch it up to keep things shaking, and then find yourself against the pillows on the biggest couch to breathe and relax.

or..

Devise a plan, screw the plan, come up with a million dollar scheme and drain into a bigger hole, or possibly build a mound. How far could you take your efforts?

Point is. Everything's going down, but don't give up.
Fight for your money earned.
Start this new year with a plan that you know IS achievable.
Hook it up.
Run.
Bring your water bottle, too.
This time we ride the road.
Nature's original path.


And that's Real Talk.

The world spinning out of focus

Today we remember the days when things used to be simple.
Things were easier to maintain.
Life was fast, but not to the point where we forgot where the time went.
These days are short, but worth every second of every minute of every hour.

I beg you all to take a look at the years prior through photos, notes, crafts, or anything you have.
See where you've been.
What did you do different?
Who or What was the main focus?
What have you accomplished compared to this year?
Do you feel the same?
What are your plans for next year?

The man wants his relief..

When will mine come?

Today Americans and many across the globe are being stuck into bigger debt than ever before.
We don't realize the consequences of our debts when the payments become nothing but fragments to a much bigger pot.

The interest rates are what kill us and adding to the pot when we pay things off is all the wrong.

However,
The companies making their profits in the sense aren't really the bad guys. We as people like to spend what we don't have naturally. Pay it off later as we say. Later is here and the payments are not going to be enough.

So what do we do in times of desperation especially with the holidays coming up and the job losses increasing?
If you ever thought about working for the government, you might have to if you didn't before.
Naturally those who have the BEST bonuses for working is a government owned operation.
Any benefits anywhere else never compare. Why is this? Think about it.
Our so called freedoms are limited. Everyday we cause ourselves to lose more and more of them by complaints or over-exaggerations in situations. This is probably why no one will hire anyone in anywhere for any reason. We don't want to lose money we don't have. Workforces don't either.

The lawsuits pile up from dirty crimes, which leaves less openings for those with bigger mouths in a sense.

Many have lost homes.
Many have lost lives.
Many have lost the will.

It's time to start spending correctly. Stop giving back so much to those who don't need it.
I don't mean stop paying for food for you and your friends.
Just don't always be the only one.
Don't be so hard with your money that you can;t treat when others are treating.
Money isn't everything. (At least until your out of your hole)

Moral of the story is,
Our lives are becoming consumed with irrelevance. Things we don't need to have.
Money is being thrown away and we barely see it just because we rely on impressions from others who in the long run won't really ever be there again.
But that isn't 100% truth. Some people will stick around for more goodies ;).

So start revving up your checking accounts with your savings.
Stop using the credit card unless you know you can pay the entire balance off within 2 weeks.
Think about the money you'll save on not relying on the charge.
It's killing everyone's pockets.
The ones who have your money, lost it in Vegas.

And that's Real Talk.

Rotaries and Grinders

The oil in our life is the smoothness in our ride through this journey.

We need to replace it once in a while or we break down.
No one is indestructible. Human wise at minimum.

For the next stop, make it a big impact.

For those of you who have the eyes of children on your character,
give them something to take home this weekend.
Give them a hero.
Give them a reason to want to stick to the script.

And on this journey, make as many pit stops as you can to refuel that tank you call mind and body.
The roads are nasty, the tires are balding, and the eggs are overcooked this morning.
This is the true meaning of doing well.
Without the struggle, the challenge, we are just standing here waiting for a purpose.

Remember wanting to be a firefighter or doctor as a kid?
You didn't exactly take care of what was necessary to become those idols at the time, but as you grew, you started to have a different idea of what a true idol in your life could be.

Some of you became accountants, and we know how much we love the math when it adds up in our favor.
Some of you became strong machines in sports, a reason to give other children the feeling of closeness with a parent, and a different idol in real life to want to at least be on the straight path to success, not just in the professional suit and tie world.
Some of you run a website.
Some of you run a dog shop.
Time is not ours to determine, but to make very every use of it as we could possibly use.
For many reasons we will never understand, almost every 7 years our taste develops.
The engine is wearing down, so you want to do less.
I say the engine's still good. Keep driving. Push for the limits if you have to.
Make no mistake about what you wanted in the first place. Just make sure you have time to stop and say hello and eat something, too.


And that's Real Talk.

The Sickness

The sickness is spreading.
Disturbed by the way things are headed, is there any time for relief?

The pockets of many are getting smaller.
Bills are increasing.
Daylight is the only sign of freedom.

E-Commerce is in a meltdown.
E-mailing seems to be the only form of connecting with one another.

We need to wake up.
We need to learn to breathe again.
We need to forget the ugly sides of things.
We need to remember those who showed us what it is to smile.

Direct deposit got your account number wrong.
Paypal is closed this week when you needed the extra $40.
Your credit card's APR increased without notice.
Your best friend is your worst enemy.

Today we say goodbye to the pain.
Today we say goodbye to the hate.
Today we say goodbye to the darkness.
Today we say hello, I'm still standing.

Today I will pet my dog or cat.
Today I will call my sibling.
Today I will not be the victim.
Today I will not be the sickness.

And that's Real Talk.

The Warrior

It's not about how many of this or that you can do.
It's not even about your accomplishments this past year, or even earlier.
It's never about how much better or worse you are than your so-called opponents.
It's not about how much change in your pocket.
It's not about the car in your driveway.
It's not about the world.

It's about the animal you are, and forever will be.
It's about the things you haven't done.
It's about the things you couldn't get off your chest in time.
It's about a passion left behind, not forgotten.
It's about the hunger in your stomach when you know your full.

You are the opponent of a lifetime that you have yet to face.
Every year you change, so the challenger in you does too.
Mistakes have been made, more are to come.
Last year's present could become this year's gift to someone without.
The eyes on your back, from any rise you've accomplished have set you back. Why?

The goal for today is to finish what you started.
Start what you have been thoughtful of.
Call a family member, relative or friend.
Change will come, if you ask for it.
Be careful what you wish for.

Never accept defeat.
Never settle for less.
Pave the road to greatness.
Pave the stones to your legacy.

You are the Warrior.
You are the reason why you woke up today.
Give the world back what it's given you.
Dust off any negative vibes.
Be the bigger person.
You are the hunter, not the hunted.

Someone is thinking of you, you are thinking of someone.
Send them a letter in the mail, or a call on the phone.
Today you forget texting or e-mails exists.
A voice makes the heart warm.

Appreciate your existence.
The Warrior never stops moving.
The Warrior never stops eating.
The Warrior never stops existing.
The Warrior never stops plotting.
The Warrior never stops.

Tomorrow you will face a new challenge. Lucky you.
Seriously.

And that's Real Talk.

Getting Paid

Worth.

What do we consider it.
We each have our own values. Whether it's family, friend, money, or living-oriented we all have set or predetermined values.

Did you ever think about self worth?
How much are you worth?

Many people encountered have always said the same thing.
"I gotta get paid."
Well, how do you suppose we as humans challenge ourselves, especially when we are inexperienced in our fields, even if it's a self owned business.

You might tend to overprice and under-price your skills.
When can we ever get the doe correct?

In this day and age, if you haven't noticed, gas has gone extremely high, while morale has gotten low.
You want to make that extra $5, because it's worth every penny in the 500 count. May not be a lot to some, but more than enough to others.
How do we determine value in oneself?

The recession has taken a huge toll on everyone. Cellphone bills, car payments, groceries, and what's coming up soon? The holidays. Presents for everyone, or will there be?

To get your math correct, you pretty much have to play the guessing game. You become the car salesman in a sense.
You start with one price, and then you adjust to get the sale. This happens in almost every aspect of life. Until you become the head honcho where you can afford to name any price and it is a global price, you might have to sacrifice a little bit at first.

I want the money now!
Sorry, it doesn't work that way.
When you're starting up your newest idea for a business, be in mind that no one has ever even heard of you. Those who have are your first customers.

If your price is 30 an hour or 15 an hour, be in mind you can get away with 20-25 easily. $30 an hour though, is too high if you already know you yourself wouldn't pay the price. Also, lowering your standards to where your not completely dissatisfied might achieve long term business. This is much better than the $30 an hour here and there. Now we're up to 20-25 consistently.

Long term outweighs short-term.
Be mindful of your talents, however. If you demand 30 and you feel the value itself is 35. I think we can manager saying no to a few people. Don;t get too caught up in the sale, it could be bad for business later on.

The hungrier you are, the less ego-centric you become.
Remember, a penny saved is a penny earned.
Don't let pride get in the way of a down the road opportunity.
But don't let yourself become a victim of short change.
Remember, quality brings quantity and so you don't have to settle for less, when the market is in your reach for a gain somewhere down the line.

Freebies.
There is nothing wrong with freebies. Freebies will get your portfolio out there quickly and efficiently. However, remember the rules of a dog. If you feed it enough times, it'll keep coming back for more without any thought of a different story. Feed me, feed me.
In this case, over-time short changing is most definitely in effect.
After say five projects, it is safe to assume that you don;t have to charge full price. Half of the normal value is even a little over-doing it for anyone who's helped you become successful. (Assuming a huge thank you and steak dinner was provided)
Charge 1/3 the price after a while. They will appreciate it, and you will appreciate yourself for not being a rag on the stool used for wiping down tables.
Be strong in your place.
Your not the bad person if the times are hard enough to ask for pennies.
Freebies are more than OK when business is booming.
If they're not, don't be afraid to ask for even a few dollars.
Your broke, not a joke.

If you have no business, this is where you drop your guard completely. You have no room for basing anything on anything. This period in the stage of becoming successful is not as long in the time period as you think. Things will change, and the past will be exactly what it is.

Be fair, don't get played out, and most importantly have faith in your ability. Things will work out.

And that's Real.

For Real For Real

Time is too short these days. Getting older, especially if boredom is a key factor to your downfall in the wake up trying to get back to a lifestyle or back on your workout routine or even back on your grind at work. There's always something pulling you back. When you let it, chaos and fast times.

If you haven't realized in your life that when you are doing good, things go wrong. Why? Why not is the real question. We need balance. You can't appreciate the good if you don't receive some bad. Call it math, karma, balance, whatever.

The key to success, whether it be business or pleasure, is to maintain your purpose.
Keep you eyes on the prize, and when the little things get in the way; Just Deal With Them.

You cannot postpone mundane activities if they are essential to your becoming.
Be wide open, and especially in tune with what is going on around you.
As much as you want to block out any haters, they are there for support whether you think so or not.

We are driven by challenge. A hater in this case, is a small challenge to throw you down when you are coming up. Notice, these people always have something bad to say, usually no positives either. Eat the comments, eat the hatred, and especially eat the negative vibes.
What doesn't kill you only makes you crazy enough to keep going. If you keep going, that craziness will pay off big time.

Anything worth while is long term. There is no such thing as a short term come-up that is big enough to impact. Even lottery players, spent over thousands of dollars in their lifetime tyo hit the mega millions. Some people only got their money back.

In essense, we as people need to drop what the fab is and do what the neccesarry requires us to do.
We are living short lives, and only cutting them shorter by wasting time on others who have no use in our journey's as humans to become better.
In all reality, you waste more time being bored and finding the next trend, than starting your own.

Take the movie, "Anger Management" (starring Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson), the one question you hear in this movie that sets off the entire mood is "Who are you?"
The way Adam Sandler answers is always incorrect. The right answer, is "me".

There are no rights or wrong, however. I can never preach what I cannot do myself.
Doing dirt, creates dirt. I too have done my share.
Believe what you need to believe, do what you feel you have to do. Just remember you are NOT alone. Think carefully, and be mindful of others when it comes to your doings. Consequences will take surface if it is necessary.

And that's Real.

Whine and Fined

Thinking back to original work and time.
When you put your money in your mouth and got quality results,
those results allowed you to get the benefits of a better life.
A happy boss = a happy upgrade. (At least most of the time.)
Not everyone can get these upgrades easily.
You got to stand out.
No matter the profession, when your cornered in too often you will feel the aches.
A happy you = a happy everyone else. (usually.)
Some might not enjoy your good day with you.
Not your problem, but don't rub anything in any one's face.
Share is caring. Caring is daring. (......)

Bite bullets, Save the day, and most importantly Remain humble.
Your mission in life shouldn't be to be the best.
You will always lose that battle.
Be your best. Now that says a lot more, no?

And that's Real Talk.

Living life on Crutches...

Too many times you can say to yourself,
I need to be my own person. I need to have my own things.

Positive and Negatives can play major roles, but the negatives always have their good as well as good has its bad.

Where do we start?

Let's think about the positives of being on your own.
1. You can do anything shamelessly and not get hassled. (Unless you live with someone.)
2. People respecting your own rules when in your home.
3. Bathroom is yours. (Many of us need this for whatever reason.)

Negatives:
1. Massive bills (CRAZY.)
2. No one cooking you breakfast. (Sorry mom.)
3. Longer time waiting for another big purchase. (Someday...Flat Screen HDTV.)

These might seem pointless but the next time you decide to do things your way and not the way people think you should go, be ready to prove your self more to your checking account then your so called "judgmental crew." The toll will wiegh heavier here than any type of opinion you feel you need approval.

Staying at home at any age for a little time is smart. You want to worry about getting laughed at or judged wrong? Mind yourself, the others will have their turn if they want to laugh now.

Save up your money. Whether you want to pursue a career in music (TONS OF EXPENSIVE EQUIPMENT), art (Books, Programs, Supplies, etc.), or even go back to school; it all takes a lot of sacrificing.

Nothing is wrong with wanting to better yourself if the intentions are for your own sanity. No one else will walk you through your life unless there's incentive for them to hold you.

Live smart. Pay the price. Get it right.

And that's Real Talk.